It is hard to see the people we love struggling and our initial response is to jump in and help trying to make things better. Many times, we can. However, it is also important for the people we love to learn to help themselves and deepen their connection to the Spirit for assistance. If we are always rescuing someone, the never get the opportunity to grow into their inner strength. I was angry when I got divorced from my ex because I had spent many years ill with a thyroid problem. When I was finally diagnosed, he did nothing to help me get well. Now, when I look back at that time I can see how being alone in that experience changed me. I discovered sheer determination to fight my way back to health that would not have happened had he helped me. I developed levels of both vision of my wellness and acceptance of the illness and understand now the intricate dance between hope and surrender. Most importantly, in the days that I would cry to Spirit begging for help, my faith grew. In the darkness, I discovered Spirit had me no matter if I became well again or not. Those gifts from those dark days would have been shortchanged had anyone helped me.
We want to push and shove against the darkness of difficulty. We want to ignore it with gizmos, substances, and mindless entertainment. Often, we believe that the spiritual life means that we will find peace and serenity, but that peace and serenity is built in the darkness where we have no where else but God to turn to. In those challenging and difficult times, it is hard to understand that this too shall pass because we attach ourselves to wanting a certain outcome. We want our work life,, finances, health, or relationships to look a certain way, or we grieve and mourn the things we may have lost as if we have lost a piece of ourselves. Once we attach to what we think our lives should look like, we create a friction between that attachment image and what Spirit is trying to create in our lives. The friction between those two worlds is what creates that deep darkness, despair, and struggle.
The only way out of that dark is to surrender, have faith, and accept what is. When we go in and through the darkness, we eventually emerge to the other side changed by the experience. We have a deeper understanding of our values, priorities, and connection to Spirit. Our lives do not look the same or feel the same because we have been essentially transformed by the fire of the dark into a new light. It is in this stage that we often lose our closest relationships because we are no longer the person we used to be. The years of illness changed me. My priorities changed. I found a deeper connection to Spirit. I became accepting of myself and my flaws. I surrendered my life to the calling I felt in my heart even if it was heartbreaking to accept. I emerged from it a different person with a determination to live from Spirit that I didn't have before.
So no matter what is happening in your life at this moment, I truly mean the phrase this too shall pass. It won't be easy, and it will often be messy as you learn to be more authentic and clear. Yet, your faith will grow, and this dark day that you are experiencing will come to an end. Take a deep breath. Surrender the suffering to the Spirit. Know that this is a journey between you and the Spirit alone. Accept the loneliness of this darkness. Say a prayer. Cry. Rage if you need too. And remember that you are just passing through it.
My questions for you this week:
1. Where do you feel friction between where you want your life to be and where it is now?
2. How are you fighting against what is?
3. What is the new life that Spirit is calling you to?
4. What ways is Spirit asking for your surrender?
5. Anchor the idea that this too shall pass. What comes up for you as you sit with that idea?